I read an article in the Chronicle a couple of days ago
about orphans in literature. Seems like
a strange topic, right? Well it kind of is, but, according to Terry Castle, the
author of the article ("Don't Pick Up"), orphans are all over the
place in literature and the theme of them is an important one to the story of
humanity.
Castle points out that one of the first places we see
orphaning in literature is with the exilement of Adam and Eve from Eden .
In that tradition, we see the concept of orphanhood as essential to the process
of becoming human. After all, Adam and
Eve lose any real claim to their only parent figure in the moment they are exiled;
they become orphans.
The author exemplifies several other works of great
literature that involve and center on orphans and the theme, but most
interesting in the entire long article (it's over 7,000 words! Which is one of
the reasons I'm giving you the Cliff's Notes) is her perspective of her own
students.
While, she believes that the concept of "becoming an
orphan," a true individual without ties (of the sort that restrict), is
essential to an individual's growth and increased ability to think and reason
on their own, she argues that young people today are not necessarily indulging
themselves in any sort of self-orphanage.
She says, rather, that they, as products of helicopter parents, are
allowing themselves to remain too close and in too constant of contact with
their parents even as they go through their college years, years meant to be some
of the most invigoratingly independent of them all.
The bewilderment with which she contemplates her students
24-7 attachment to their parents (seven-plus phone calls a day, constant text
messaging back and forth, etc) is wonderful and enlightening because a reader
cannot help but ask themselves what side of the table they're on: a momma's
boy/girl or an "orphan"?
I do agree with Castle when she argues that we are killing
our chances for independent thinking and independent action when we stay in
constant contact with parents and when we base our concept of ourselves on
them- what they do, what they expect, what will make them proud, etc. It's freeing to have someone recognize that
this is not the way we should live our lives and that to do so is counter to a
literary theme of, and a human need for, self-exploration and a certain amount
of self-orphaning in order to fully grow up.
To somewhat more objectively confirm her point beyond just
my instant emotional reaction to it, I compared notes with some of my favorite
literary characters. Let's start with
Jay Gatsby (where else?)- he has such a desire to free himself from the ties
that bind him- to his past, his upbringing, his family- that he even changes
his blood name (James Gatz, anyone?). Let's
go to the other end of the spectrum and take a look at Jo March of Little Women. Admittedly, this is a story that is pretty
centered on family; however, it is undeniable that Jo must break away from her
family, move to the city and live on her own, before she can become the person
she is going to be. And with that said,
this theme becomes a much more commonplace one- people need to venture out on
their own in order to evolve- they must seek out new frontiers, they must cast
off expectations.
As far as the real world goes, though I can't speak for
generations of yore, it seems that this trope of independent exploration as a
right of passage to adulthood is somewhat uncommon. Today, this can be blamed on a number of
things; the economy is not the least of which.
Of people I know in their mid/late twenties more live with their parents
(or are highly dependent on their support) than not. Hell, the guy who lives in the apartment
above me gets weekly grocery deliveries from his mom, to which he giddily exclaims,
"thank you, Mommy!" every god-damn time. Isn't that a little gross?
While I do find myself in disgust over grown men using the
term "mommy" and being concerned in any way, shape, or form for their
parents' sensitivities toward their lifestyle (I find myself often suppressing a
"man-the-fuck-up! Do you think Jack Kerouac really cared if he offended
his mom? No, he was busy worrying about the world at hand and giving voice to
it!" or something equally irrational), I also recognize that I had the
good fortune of being raised by some pretty badass, not-easy-to-offend people
(though, I admit, to even point this out as a rationalization of my character may
reveal my own struggle with parental over-identification). Either way, I try to pity rather than judge
those who've had more of a Little Woman
experience. But, come on, even Jo
learned that at some point, you have to worry about you, and you have to become whoever you're going to be. All on your
own.
Thanks for reading. Until next time,
Leena
If you'd like to check out the article mentioned in the blog, you can access it at
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